


The Cats

by Potatochutney



Series: Daddy Bat, Mommy Cat [1]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU
Genre: Alternate Universe - Catlad, Dick loves to tease his brothers, F/F, F/M, M/M, Mommy cat, Polyamory, Selina loves her boys, The robins were adopted by Selina, daddy bats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-26
Updated: 2015-04-26
Packaged: 2018-03-25 22:01:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3826564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Potatochutney/pseuds/Potatochutney
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU- Selina adopts the male robins and they all serve as some form of catlad, Bruce adopted all the batgirls</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Cats

“Kittens, oh kittens!”

“No mom we're not doing this.”

“mom stop.”

“tt.”

“Kittens!”

“Kitties come home!”

“Did he really join in too? What the fuck.”

“Watch your fucking mouth little D.”

“Really, you're supposed to be the oldest here, yet you swear and wonder why he's swearing too.”

“You shut your fucking mouth too.”

“If you two are finished being infantile, I suppose I would like to eat tonight.”

 

One, two, three pairs of feet landed in the apartment, each landing without a single miscalculation in balance.

 

“Mommy got Chinese for her hungry boys!” Selina had laid out several boxes of food, each in a transparent glass box, with no visible lock. Dick already had his food, and was happily eating it with his chopsticks.

“Mommy makes us work for our food.” Jason muttered, punching through the top of his glass case, picking out his meal with a frown.

Selina just clucked her tongue at him, looking at Tim expectantly, and of course he didn't disappoint, scratching a hole through the glass with expert precaution to pluck it from the case with a smug glance over to Damian.

“You're not even my mother, but I will humour you.” And with that he simply lifted off the glass and put it to one side, glancing over at his adopted brothers. “Now why didn't I think of that?” Tim muttered after finishing his first bite.

“Because you make things too hard for yourself, Drake.”

“Little D, come sit with me.”

“No Dick. I am sitting at the table, as I have manners. Do your zip up, that's practically indecent.”

 

The boys bickered, with Selina leaning back to watch her kittens eat. She'd adopted them all one by one, not meaning to. She found Dick living on the streets after his parent's deaths, his acrobatic skills coming in handy as her sidekick, stealing for a living. Around the same time, Batman had adopted his own sidekick- Batgirl. Batgirl had thought her little apprentice was a girl, and they kept her thinking that way for as long as possible.

Jason, a true street rat had gotten stuck in her apartment's traps- but on the way out with a bag of her jewellery. She'd taken him in as her new sidekick when Dick had been on his own international crime spree. She'd often seen herself as a kitten in the way he acted, and that was why she was so desperate to look after him. He'd nearly died a few times, but she did everything- when she says everything she means literally anything- to fix things. She slept with Ra's al ghul, she clawed the Joker's face wide open, she stole from the Penguin and betrayed the Bat. And for that she was given use of the Lazarus pit when her little Jay was left for dead.

Tim had found her, he'd figured out her civilian identity and forced her to teach him. To most people in Gotham she was a socialite, so it wasn't seen to be too peculiar that she offered to adopt the little Drake boy after the tragic accident with his parents, after all she had been at parties with him before, they'd assumed she was teaching him martial arts and that because of her friendship with the Drakes, she was able to take him on as a ward.

Damian...Well, Damian wasn't a different story. Much. He was the Bat's son, but Batman had no idea. Talia had brought him to her as a last resort, he needed somewhere safe and nobody was more careful than Selina. Dick had been the first to warm to the youngest kitten, his rudeness didn't put him off, after all he'd already had experience with Jason as a kitten.

 

“What did we all do today? Mommy wants to know what you've all gotten her, and we need to know who hits which person.” Selina asked, once Jason had finished doing the washing up.

“I stole the principal's watch.” Damian stated, pulling it from one of his pockets. “I shook his hand and took it then.” “Very nice! Mommy's impressed.”

“I stole from Lex Luthor.” Tim felt the need to one up his younger brother, glancing over with a slight smirk. “Tim, fucking superboy doesn't count as stealing from Luthor!” “Jason shut up, mommy wants to know what Tim got.” “I got the codes and locations of his bunkers around the world. Thousands of millions of dollars can be made on the black market.” “Ooh, kitten's been very busy.”

“I stole the Penguin's umbrella.” “Tt, that's not impressive.” “It is when it's the umbrella he will pay most to get back.” “Jay-Jay, I'm not impressed by that, I did that before.”

“I slept with Oracle.” The other three began to shout right away, furious with him for their own reasons. Jason didn't like it when Dick went to see her without letting him know first, Tim didn't like that he would willingly sleep with the enemy, and Damian is always teased for his crush on the current Batgirl. Selina laughed, throwing her head back before patting the couch beside her for Dick. He came and lay against her, grinning as she ran her hands through his thick hair. “And what did you learn from her?” “We need to make the Bat think you have an apartment on the east side, he's getting close to finding this place. And when he finds this place, he'll know who we are.” “Thank you kitten, your day was most productive, so you can pick dinner tomorrow.” “Pancakes and Oreo milkshakes.” He replied with a cheshire cat grin.

“And we all worked together and got you an exclusive weekend away, a holiday in Macau for a week. Will that be enough?” Jason leant over the back of the sofa, pressing a kiss to Dick's forehead. “Wonderful, thank you kittens.”

 

At first her kittens had always fought, when Tim and Damian had come to live with them. Jason had hated Tim, Tim always took everything good, and he was a little too good. Tim in return had hated Damian, because Damian was so proud and Dick adored Damian more than he adored Tim. Of course, Damian didn't like Jason because Dick loved Jason and Jason loved adventure and was able to go anywhere at any time.

But now they lived as a family, their public apartment wasn't the base of operations, their base of operations was the apartment across the street.

Dick often bunked with Selina out of habit, and the fact her bed was so comfortable and big enough to fit ten people, and he loved his mother cat enough to let her mess with his hair even now. Jason came and shared the bed when his nightmares killed his sleep, and Selina would let him tuck himself between her and Dick, with Dick often kissing his face until Jason fell asleep. Tim climbed into bed with them whenever he and his boyfriend had been fighting, and Selina would sing him to sleep. On rare nights, Damian would sleep in her bed, curled in a small ball against her stomach and she would curl around him.

Her favourites were the nights when all of her boys would come home exhausted and she would come home later to find them all in her bed asleep.

On those nights, Jason would sleep with Tim sleeping against him and Damian, with Dick on the other side. They'd always make a little space for her, wherever she decided to sleep.

Tonight was one of those nights once a year where the boys would all cuddle up in her bed, without any reason to. She slept in the middle, her youngest two on either side, with the oldest two curled up together behind her head.

“Happy birthday mommy cat.” Dick mumbled, getting a little smile from Selina, before Jason kissed him again, trying to make Dick fall asleep.

 

She loved her baby boys. The sun rose over Gotham and her kittens slept in a hushed peace, because that was how it worked best in their little family.

**Author's Note:**

> Dick is Stray  
> Jason is Wildcat  
> Tim is Catlad  
> Damian is Kitten (poor dami)  
> In this universe Jason didn't fully die so he's not angry at the world, because Selina wouldn't let anything like that happen to her kitten


End file.
